What's six inches long, has two nuts, and gives women big bellies?

Almond Joy.

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Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why did Helen Keller fail her road test?

Because she was a woman

What did the man with Verizon say to the woman with Sprint?

You better Sprint on over to the Verizon store.

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

Why is the robot good at one night stands?

Because he nuts and bolts.

What kind of nuts go on your feet?

Cashews.

Inch Jokes More Inch Jokes

What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?

About three inches.

What do the average woman and kids on a snow day have in common?

They're both hoping for nine inches, but will be happy enough with five.