42+ Funny Amp Jokes - Museum of Jokes

What do you throw a drowning guitarist?

His amp.

How do you get a guitar player to turn down his amp?

Give him sheet music.

What is the difference between the people in Dubai &amp?

the people in Abu Dhabi? The people in Dubai don't watch The Flintstones, but the people in Abu Dhabi Do!

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine &amp a small child?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window...

What do you call a guy with no arms &amp no legs laying in a pile of leaves?

Russel

How do you know if someone's an expert archer?

Put an apple on your head &amp stand still he'll Tell you.

What's the difference between an immigrant &amp a book?

One of them has papers.

What do the letters G, I, T, N, H, N & O have in common?

nothing

Why do Nuns always wear Black &amp?

White? No particular reason, it's just a habit they have.

Why did Bill Gates &amp?

Warren Buffett once have me quickly kicked out of a game of bridge? When it was my turn to bid I kept saying, "Go fish".

What is the difference man &amp?

woman ? Pupil :Sir, in overtime ,overdose & overhead ,man shouts and woman sobs

Which Hollywood actress has made sure all sci-fi movies like alien; ghostbusters; avatar & chappie are "woven" together?

Sigourney "Weaver" :P

What is the difference between someone who worships God &amp someone who worships the sun?

The sun exists.

What famous actor costs an arm &amp a leg to hire?

ARMold SchwarzenLEGger

Which is the best kind of dinosaur to play hide &amp seek with?

An I-Don't-Think- He-Saurus

Why don't Raggedy Ann &amp Andy have any children?

Cotton balls

Why is Darth Vader's helmet so phallic?

because when they hid Luke & Leia from him, they removed his force kin.

What's common between Marriage &amp a Port-a-potty?

There are those who are waiting to get in it and then you have those wanting too get out of it.

What Should Make A Book Teacher: "What Should Be In A Book To Make It A Bestseller?

Jorkens: "A Girl On The Cover & No Cover On The Girl"

What do you call a man with no arms &amp no legs... ...hanging on the wall?

Art ...floating in the sea Bob ...laying on the floor Matt ...down in a hole Phil ...sitting in a pot Stu ...

What's the difference between a church bell &amp a church?

A church bell peals from the steeple.

What happened to the Arm &amp?

Hammer Deodorant car?

What do you call 2 Nuns &amp a Cheerleader?

2 Tightends &amp a Wide Reciever

What's the difference between Jesus &amp a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang the picture.

Whats common between Reddit jokes &amp Dave ?

You never get tired of seeing them again &amp again ...

What's the difference between a church bell &amp a politician?

A church bell peals from the steeple.

Who r they 2 stop u?

Boy: My wife &amp 2 kids.

Whatsapp &amp?

Facebook?

What is that white thing in my pork&ampbeans?

The Queen Bean. *Blatantly stolen from Ren &amp Stimpy

What's The Difference Between Snowmen, & Snow Women?

Snowballs.

What do you call a dictatorship founded on the principles of Ethos, Logos & Pathos?

An Aristotalitarian Regime.

What do The Walking Dead and Fast &amp Furious have in common?

dead walkers

What do Leonardo DiCaprio &amp anyone who buys a Powerball ticket have in common?

Their odds of winning are the same

Why Are Mexican &amp?

Black Jokes Overdone? Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal!...I'm sorry, you can hate me if you wish. ;(

How many 1980s R &amp?

B divas does it take to fix a broken lightbulb? Just one, but they fix the crack by torchlight

What's furry on the outside.. Wet on the inside.. Starts with a C... Ends with a T... And has U &amp N in-between?

A coconut!

What's the difference between a chickpea &amp a lentil?

I wouldn't pay $100 to have a lentil in my face

What's a linking verb's favorite genre of music?

Are &amp Be

Why do you never play hide &amp seek with mountains?

Mountains peak.

What is the difference between an UNDERWEAR &amp?

a STAGE CURTAIN? A: When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the UNDERWEAR..... it's SHOWTIME!!!

Why did they release Star Wars 4, 5 & 6 before 1, 2 & 3?

Because off sequence, Yoda was.

How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb?

None. According to Trump, they outsourced it to India & China.

Amp Jokes