Internet Jokes

Because everyone uses the Internet to look up phone numbers or people don't have landlines anymore and cell phone numbers aren't listed in the phone book. Also people use social media to communicate and connect with people.

Whats the perfect place to hide a body on the internet?

The second page of a youtube search.

What do you call getting a movie about Norse gods from the Internet?

DownlOdin. What do you call getting a movie about Norse gods from the Internet illegally? Thorrenting.

Why did the rooster get 20 years in prison?

He got caught on the internet, looking up chicks.

What's the most annoying thing in the internet?

People who comment "repost" on a Joke subreddit.

What do frogs say that surf the internet?

Reddit reddit.. First joke i thought of. :)

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How does a sea urchin search the internet?

sea urchingine

What does Sean Connery surf on the Internet?

Reddish.

Why will you never see a stag on the internet?

They like to stay anony-moose

Why you cannot think of landing a job or business without internet?

No connection

What do you get if you cross the Internet with a currant bread?

Spotted click

How does the vicar explore the Internet?

With the church mouse.

How about anonymous white people arguing with one another viciously on the internet?

Has that been tried yet

How are you getting on with the Internet?

Surf far so good.

What do you give a canine seeking meaningless validation on the internet?

Pupvotes

Why couldn't the baby camel surf the Internet?

Because whenever his parents saw their phone bill they got the hump.

What did you say to the policeman who spent eight hours on the Internet?

Oh give it arrest.

How did pirates communicate before the internet?

Pier to Pier Networking

What did Darth Vader say to the Internet?

May the force e-with you.

What do you get if you cross a giant ship with the Internet?

The Site-anic.

How do I big it?

Silly dad, the internet told me all you have to do is be a Christian.

Who writes hit musicals on the Internet?

Andrew Lloyd Webber.

Which Lord Mayor of London was always on the Internet?

Click Whittington

Why was the Redditors jokes so unoriginal?

Because he Reddit off the internet.

Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet?

Because they can't stop saving their work.

How do I find answers using Google.com?

on Yahoo Answers. Stand by while the internet divides itself by zero.

Who is the oldest singer on the Internet?

Click Jagger.

What's Lisbeth's twin sister's name who enjoys spending time on the internet?

Elizabeth.

What was the internet like in the old days?

Me: *opens door* *pushes 16 outside* *locks door*

How do people look at the internet?

Me: How Him: With their google-y eyes

Which of the seven dwarfs use the Internet?

Happ-e Sleep-e Grump-e Dope-e and Sneez-e.

When I was your age... When I was your age, before the Internet, there was none of this e-bola. We just had plain bola. And you know what?

We were thankful.

What did the man who frequents the internet do with a book?

He Reddit.

Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?

They never want to log off.

How do people see so much on internet these days?

They put on the Google!

How do you make rude noises on the Internet?

With a whoop e-cushion.

What do you call a ghost on the Internet?

e-erie.

Who's the chief of the internet?

E-ronimo!

What do you get if you cross an elephant with the Internet?

I don't know but it's e-nourmous.

What did the parrot say when he was using the Internet?

P.Cs of eight P.Cs of eight.

Who currently provides your Internet?

he asked. I said, "My next door neighbour."

When The NSA is Monitoring Your Computer?

The power is on and you're connected to the internet.

How did the flea learn to use the internet?

He had to start from scratch.

What goes round the middle of the Internet?

The e-quator.

How do we not know what women want yet?

There are tons of conflicting lists all over the internet.

Where do you go to get a burger on the internet?

McDownloads!

What do you call someone who spends 24 hours a day on the Internet?

Anything you like they're not listening to you anyway.

What are Germans most thankful for on the internet?

Danke Memes

Why was the dyslexic rabbit disappointed when he received the solid gold bar he had ordered via the internet?

He thought the ad said '24 carrots'

How do you find white shirts on the Internet?

Use a starch engine.

What surfs the Internet and goes 'Choo Choo'?

Thomas the Search Engine.

What do you call an alien surfing the Internet?

e-t.

Why are we watching a live internet stream of men exiting a hole?

Isn't this using the internet backwards

How do You find the worst joke of the internet?

You reddit.

What's The Coolest Thing On the Internet I Can Buy for Under $100?

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/wyozq/whatisthecoolestthingicanbuyonthe/c5hp9rg

Why was the skeleton using the Internet?

To bone up on his schoolwork.

How does a tree access the internet?

It logs on.

What are the four elements?

Pupil: Fire Earth Water and the Internet. Teacher: What do you mean the Internet Pupil: Well Mum says that whenever I'm on the Net I'm in my element.

Who writes all his plays on the Internet?

Will-e. Shakespeare.

What did the sausage say when it couldn't log on to the Internet?

If at first you don't succeed Fry Fry again

Why did the mummy stop using the Internet?

He was getting far too wrapped up in it.

Who is the most popular wizard on the Internet?

Har e-potter.

How do the trees get on the internet?

They log on.

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Google Jokes More Google Jokes

What do you call the version of google maps without pac man?

Pac Man-free Ver.

What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common?

Immigrants

Element Jokes More Element Jokes

Why do we all marry?

because romance is not the only element of life, we should also know horror, terror, suspense, irony, stupidity and tragedy of life!

Which element is unsure of it's gender?

Sili-kin

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between hard and light?

I can sleep with a light on.

What's the difference between a hipster and a lumberjack?

The lumberjack has a job.

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

Whats the difference between a washing machine and a woman?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

What do you call an elf that follows Scientology?

Elron Hubbard

Series Jokes More Series Jokes

When you have the choice between cleaning the bath or doing some sport... which series do you watch ?

What did the roach say after a series of disappointing hotel stays?

This is my last resort.

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

What is the first thing that vampires learn at school?

The alphabat.

How do Vampires buy pants if they can't look in a mirror?

Now, I tweet them

Tube Jokes More Tube Jokes

What do you call tubing in Winnipeg?

Mani-tubing

What do you call a tube with a degree?

A graduated cylinder.

Garlic Jokes More Garlic Jokes

Why are you pushing garlic into the computer's disk drive?

Pupil: To keep vampires off the Internet Teacher: But there aren't any vampires on the Internet Pupil: See It works doesn't it

What did the underweight onion say to the garlic?

No more light bulb jokes!