Where were u on the night of the 3rd?

Stabbing a homeless man. "Louder for the tape " Wrapping a boneless ham. As a gift.

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Gift Jokes More Gift Jokes

What's the gift that keeps on giving?

AIDS

What does a gift and a black man have in common?

White children get immense joy after tearing one open

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Why do you need 200 condoms?

Me: I have a beard and an accent. *winks* *Spends night making balloon animals

What fish only swims at night ?

A starfish !

Wrap Jokes More Wrap Jokes

What did the Psychiatrist say to the naked man wrapped in surran wrap?

Well I can clearly see your nuts

What's the difference between astronomy and gastronomy?

Astronomy is about things too big to wrap your head around, while gastronomy is about things small enough to wrap your head around.

Homeless Man Jokes More Homeless Man Jokes

How did the homeless man get so buff?

Because his workouts were in tents. I'll show myself out...

What's the difference between a homeless man and a trash can?

One of them gets taken in every once in a while.

Stab Jokes More Stab Jokes

What do you get when you stab a toddler with a pair of scissors?

An erection.

How was the beach?

You hang ten or what " No but I stabbed a couple because they kept asking stupid questions about my vacation

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

What did the DNA say to the RNA?

What are U doing here?

What kind of turns do letters take?

U-turns! *From my 9 year old son yesterday. Fixed typo.

3rd Jokes More 3rd Jokes

Why do pencils shave?

To look sharp. Credit: 3rd grade me.

What do they call traffic laws in 3rd world countries?

Guidelines

Tape Jokes More Tape Jokes

How do you fix a broken website?

With stick e-tape.

What do you call Quicksilver when he's duct taping people's mouths?

A running gag.