Change Jokes

When you arrive at the international airport you are American. There is a room that changes your nationality. When you enter this room you are Russian, when you leave this room you are Finnish, and while inside European. What room is it?

How many psychologists does it take to change a tire?

Just one, but first the tire really has to want to change.

How many 'Suh Dudes' does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Its already lit, fam.

How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.

How many feminist does it take to change a light bulb?

None because feminist can't change anything.

How Can You Tell It's Fall In Florida?

When the color of the license plates start to change.

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How many McDonalds workers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, because they can't climb the ladder.

How many Harvard students does it take to change a light bulb?

One. He holds it up and the world revolves around him.

How many Hillary supporters does it take to change a light bulb?

None. cmon , they'd much rather be kept in the dark.

Which country will be the first to change to all electric vehicles?

Madagascar

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Juan (This probably has been posted earlier but is still funny )

How many Vietnam vets does it take to change a light bulb?

You don't know cause you weren't there

How many Vietnam veterans does it take to change a light bulb?

You weren't there, man!

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

To get to the other side.

How many stream cleaners does it take to change a lightbulb?

Sorry, they can only change the floor essence.

How many IT professionals does it take to change a lightbulb?

Have you tried turning it off and back on?

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How many PETA members does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They can't change anything.

How many Pollyanna's does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. It's too dark.

How many Bros does it take to change a lightbulb?

None cuz it's already lit af

How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Can't be done, it's a hardware problem.

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the light bulb really has to want to change.

How many data wranglers does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many data wranglers does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but they need a backup.

How many Black Lives Matters protesters does it take to change a light bulb?

Don't be silly, Black Lives Matters protesters can't change anything.

How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb ?

One

How many dirty buggers does it take to change a light bulb?

Thirty.

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?

One. They're efficient and don't have humour.

How many senior medical consultants does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. He holds up the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around him.

How many teachers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, that's what students are for.

How many IT guys does it take to change a light bulb?

No IT guys change light bulbs, they just keep flicking the switch on and off again until something happens.

How many rainbows does it take to change a lightbulb?

The white amount.

What do politicians and diapers have in common?

Both should be changed regularly, and both for the same reason.

How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a lightbulb?

change??

How many "a man walks into a bar" jokes does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but you can be sure a whole Reddit community will appear to expand the joke, make it funnier and eventually run it into the ground.

How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to pay a Mexican to do it, two to deport him afterwards.

How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A Brazilian.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?

To get to the other side.

Why don't Americans like their dollar coin?

They're afraid of change.

How many indie kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

none because There is A Light That Never Goes Out.

How many super saiyans does it take to change a light bulb?

Find out next time, on Dragon Ball Z!

How many Kardashians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one as the rest of the world simply MUST revolve around them...

How many graphic designers does it take to change a light bulb?

Does it have to be a light bulb? 'Cause I had this other idea...

How many Deadheads does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just watch it burn out and follow it around for 30 years.

How many redditors does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to screw it in and one to take credit for it.

Why shouldn't you change around a Pokemon?

Because he might peek at chu.

How many reposters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but they have to steal it first.

How many Pokmon does it take to change a light bulb?

Not sure, gotta catch them all first!

What's the difference between Britain and Australia?

When one votes, it changes something, making things worse. When another votes, it doesn't change anything, making things worse.

How many Freudian psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the ladder and one to screw your mother - I mean light bulb!

What if UK's politician changes the lightbulb?

He Brexit!

Why did Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson have to change his diet?

Because his nutritionist said he had too many minerals in his system!

What did the other traffic light say to the other traffic light?

Don't look! I'm changing!

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

Salmon

How many pollsters does it take to change a light bulb?

One, plus or minus one.

How many feminists does it take to change a light-bulb?

THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

What begins with S, ends with X and will change your life?

Smallpox

How many trannies does it take to change a light bulb?

None, it's perfectly happy being broken, it's the fitting that has to change.

How many Dragonball characters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but it takes him 20 episodes.

How many Hal 9000 computer systems does it take to change a lightbulb?

I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I cannot do that"

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A fish

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb?

Lets go play on our bikes.

How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to get up on his high horse and another to chastise the first about oppressing horses.

How many TSA agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. TSA agents only know how to remove clothes putting them on is different matter completely.

How many nuclear war survivors does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. People who glow in the dark don't need lightbulbs.

How many Redditors does it take to change a lightbulb?

About 8000

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, one to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.

How many girlfriends does it take to change a light bulb?

It has to change for itself.

How many activists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, because they can't change anything.

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Apparently not 8

What is 50 Cent's guiding philosophy?

Be the change you want to see in the world.

Why do traffic lights turn red?

You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!

How many dead memes does it take to change a light bulb?

Over 9000.

How many heretics does it take to change a lightbulb?

We're not sure, they've yet to see the light.

Why did Kyle Crane have to change the lightbulb?

because he had a dying light

How many children does it take to change a light bulb in America?

About 1 thousand Iraqis.

How many pepes does it take to change a lightbulb?

One.

How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Zero.

How many acrobats does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to change it and one to yell "Ta-daa!" when he's done.

How many Mexicans are needed to change a light bulb?

Juan.

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but only if the lightbulb really to change.

How many A.D.D. kids does it take to change a light bulb?

Look a squirrel!

How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb?

Please help. There are ten so far and they have invited their gross friends to our home. They are using the broken lightbulb to smoke crack off of.

What did the surgeon tell Michael Jackson before he changed his skin colour?

Everything's gonna be all white.

What's the difference between feminism and a $100 bill?

A $100 bill makes change

How does Donald Drumpf change a lightbulb?

He doesn't. He hires people with long fingers to do it for him.

How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb ?

1 or 2 ? 1... or 2...

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