Fan Jokes

I've always been a fan or dark humor, so, what's the darkest joke you know. no boundaries, no getting offended. please don't downvote anyone because you find it offensive, that's life, get over it.

Why was the baseball team hot?

It didn't have any fans!

Why isn't Sean Connery an unmarried roofer?

He's not a fan of the shingle life.

What did Justin Bieber's biggest fan say to him when they met?

nothing, hes a fan.

Why was Nikola Tesla a fan of Marvel?

Because he didn't like DC...

Why did the fan blow itself?

Because it was turned on!

Why are baseball players so cool?

They always have their fans around.

Why don't soccer players get hot while running?

Because they hve so many fans

Who fans?

Tardis..... I will see myself out..

What happened when the Easter Bunny caught his head in the fan?

It took ears off his life!

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Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?

Because you're breaking wind.

What song do you sing if you're not a fan of Christmas?

Sigh-lent night

How did the firefly feel when he flew into the fan?

He was de-lighted

How do we know JFK was a fan of PDA?

He was all over his wife at the parade

Why is the Ferguson Police Department a fan of Pokemon?

Because you gotta catch Jamal

Why did the tree have lots of fans?

Because he was Poplar!

How many times do I have to tell you this Mom?

I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.

Why was the football stadium so cold?

Because of all the fans.

What do you call a black guy with a fan?

Antique air conditioner.

Why won't Apple's new MacBook sell well?

because it has NO FANS!!! (get it no fans ... thank you!! don't forget to tip your server.)

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Why didn't Darth Vader make it as a stand up comic?

Fans thought his sense of humor was a little too on the dark side.

Why did the turkey get ejected from the soccer game?

He had tripped a fan.

Why did the kid steal the fan?

He wanted to be cool.

Why did the film critic protest the new children's cemetery?

He's not a fan of juvenile plots.

How come the stadium got hot after the game?

Because all of the fans left.

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Why are Paris's streets lined with trees?

German soldiers like to march in the shade.

What do dolphins like to listen to?

Podcasts.

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Why did the physicist move across the street from the haunted graveyard?

To observe spooky action at a distance! Thank you, I'll be here all week.

What are the 5 best Vegetables of all time?

tink about it. Gai lan, gai lan... gai lan, gai lan, and gai lan. (thanks to Chapelle show skit((making the band)))

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Which lawyers are U2 fans?

The pro bono ones

Why do you want your lawyer to be a U2 fan?

Cos they're always pro-Bono

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How many feminists do you need to replace a lightbulb?

Only 1, she'll hold the bulb in place and wait while the world revolves around her.

How did the hipster burn his fingertips?

He was changing the lightbulb before it was cool. rimshot

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How many Ricks from TWD does it take to change a light bulb?

Carl gets shot in the face.

Why does everyone hate Will?

courtesy of my Uncle Rick

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What does a bodybuilder do while waiting in a long line?

Weights

Whats the name of a bodybuilder whose a fan of the X-Men?

Huge Jackman

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Why do Storm Troopers like churchs?

Cuz of all the pews. I hate myself

Why do pigs run from medicine?

They hate getting cured.

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What happens when you combine Rick & Morty with a Solar Flare?

You get Solar Morty and WOOOoooooo!

What do you call a Rick and Morty fan with a bronze medal?

Thirdperson.