How Do You Start a Flood?

An engineer and an attorney were fishing in the Caribbean. The attorney said, Im here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything. "Thats quite a coincidence," said the engineer. Im here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood and my insurance company also paid for everything. The puzzled attorney asked, How do you start a flood?

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Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

How many dead-heads does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They just let it burn out and follow it around for twenty years.

What did the orphan say when the orphanage burned down?

Nothing. He just laughed.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why did the the acrophobe pothead start screaming?

She's afraid of heights.

Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?

So they could Scandinavian.

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats the difference between reddit and hell?

Hell bad people

Whats the difference between America and Yogurt?

If you leave Yogurt alone for 200 years, it develops a culture.

Insurance Company Jokes More Insurance Company Jokes

Which insurance company does Bernie Sanders use?

Progressive.

How Do You Start a Flood?

An engineer and an attorney were fishing in the Caribbean. The attorney said, Im here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything. "Thats quite a coincidence," said the engineer. Im here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood and my insurance company also paid for everything. The puzzled attorney asked, How do you start a flood?

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Why did the janitor take early retirement?

Because he realized that grime doesn't pay.

What's best about hiring an immigrant midget?

You pay them under the table )

House Jokes More House Jokes

What colour did Matthew McConaughey want his house to be painted?

All white, all white, all white.

Whoa! Dude! Why is Judge Judy in my house?

And why is she wearing my underpants

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why did the butcher get fired?

For bringing home the bacon.

What did the match box say to the match?

You're fired!

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did one fish ask the other?

So how do you drive this thing

What did the throwing star say when I asked her if she could hit her target?

Of course, I'm shuriken.

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

Why was the fish processing factory built beside the computer factory?

So that they could make fish and chips.

What's the difference... ...between a piano, a fish, and glue?

You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish "What about the glue " I knew you'd get stuck on that.

M Jokes More M Jokes

What did the south tower say to the north?

BRB man, I've got to catch a plane. Im soz.

What does The Rock said to his Girl Friend?

Im Stoned :p

Engineer Jokes More Engineer Jokes

How do genetically engineered car salesmen from Boston greet their customers?

Hey, gattaca? GATTACA?

Why do engineers mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because OCT 31=DEC 25

Destroy Jokes More Destroy Jokes

Why is CoD like women?

Search and Destroy.

What will ISIS be called once it is destroyed?

WasWas

Caribbean Jokes More Caribbean Jokes

Where to, the Caribbean or Hawaii?

Me: No, this is just my lunch.

Why does my Pirates of the Caribbean DVD have a piracy warning?

I think that pretty much goes without saying.

Flood Jokes More Flood Jokes

What did the engineer say to the flood?

Dam!

Why are Dutch people so tall?

The short ones drowned in the floods

Coincidence Jokes More Coincidence Jokes

What does COINCIDENCE' mean?

Student Funny, I was just going to ask you that.

What's the diagnosis doctor?

What is your zodiac sign ' 'Cancer.' 'What a coincidence!'

Attorney Jokes More Attorney Jokes

How Do You Start a Flood?

An engineer and an attorney were fishing in the Caribbean. The attorney said, Im here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything. "Thats quite a coincidence," said the engineer. Im here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood and my insurance company also paid for everything. The puzzled attorney asked, How do you start a flood?

Why was the attorney kicked out of choir?

All she could sing was, "Law, law, law, law, law, law, law."