What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did my wife say to me?

I want a divorce

Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on?

Stop talking in secret code.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What did Jesus say while he was getting crucified?

A: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (feel free to share yours)

Why is Jesus so bad at hockey?

Because he keeps getting nailed to the boards!

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What do you mean by being loud?

quiet the opposite.

What does it mean if you look down and see four balls instead of two?

Careful, you might be getting screwed.

Plan Jokes More Plan Jokes

What do you call a planned organised rebellion gone wrong?

A "coup d'isaster".

How do you make God laugh?

Tell him your plans.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What's the difference between your child and your husband?

At least you can leave your child alone with the babysit

What did the cannibal's wife give her husband when he came home late for dinner?

A. The cold shoulder.

Disappear Jokes More Disappear Jokes

What was the best magic trick Osama Bin Laden ever pulled?

He made the World Trade Center disappear.

Why did Turkey disappear?

Because Austria was Hungary.

Friday Jokes More Friday Jokes

Which day do chickens hate the most?

Friday.

Why does the letter "r" make all the difference between Friday and Sunday?

payday vs prayday.

Monday Jokes More Monday Jokes

How long have you been in pain?

Women: It started at 7:45am on Monday while I was at work Men: Sometime between yesterday and 1997

What do you call a person who's happy on a Monday?

Unemployed.

Easter Jokes More Easter Jokes

How do you make an Chocolat omelette?

With Easter eggs.

What's red and blue and sogs up your Easter basket?

Coloured scrambled eggs