Friday Jokes

Why is Friday the best day of the week?

Its the 5/7 day of the week

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Where do graphic designers go for a drink?

CGI Friday's

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Iowa?

Prom

Where do Muslims go after their Friday prayer?

To the Allahu Akbar

What is the only thing on earth that goes "ha ha" on a Monday?

A bit late, but.... A blonde who heard a joke on Friday.

Where do Crows hang out on friday night?

The crow bar.

Where do Crows hang out on a friday nght?

At a crow bar.

What do brunettes and red-heads do on Friday nights?

Make blonde jokes!

What happened when the cannibal got a religion?

He only ate Catholics on Fridays!

How does an international banker have a good Friday night?

He goes to a bar and slips somebody a Rupee, then gives them a Franc and some Deutsche Marks.

Why does the letter "r" make all the difference between Friday and Sunday?

payday vs prayday.

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What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?

Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*

How is today Monday?

It was Friday only a few hours ago...

What do you get when you cross Jesus and a couple of criminals?

A good Friday

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Wisconsin?

Prom night.

Where do Pixar employees go for Happy Hour?

CGI Friday's.

Why are there so many dumb blonde jokes?

it gives brunnettes and redheads something to do on friday and saturday nights!

What was Jesus never thankful for?

Fridays.

What day do fries hate the most?

Friday

What u doing?

Math, it's due Friday" *I slowly crumple the paper and put it in my mouth* They'll never believe u

How'd he do it?

The horses name was Friday.

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Why do they call the day after Thanksgiving "Black Friday"?

Because everything is a steal.

What you gonna do on St. Valentine's day?

What day is it " "Friday." "Shepherd's Pie."

How did Jesus get across Jerusalem on a busy Friday afternoon?

Cross traffic doesn't stop.

Why are you all so excited it's Friday?

Monday will be here in 5 minutes.

What do bored frogs do on a Friday night?

They go Bar Hopping!...

Which day do chickens hate the most?

Friday.

What song can never be played on #throwback Thursday?

Friday by Rebecca Black

What do you call the day after a sad Friday?

A sadder day.

Where were you on Friday?

Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...

What's the worst thing about Fridays?

Realizing it's only Tuesday.

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Where do cows go on Friday nights?

A: To the moovies.

What do you get if you have strep throat on Friday?

Saturday Night Fever.

What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!

What did Justin Verlander finish on Friday?

Kate's back.

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Cop Jokes More Cop Jokes

Why did the cop pull over the U-Haul truck?

He was trying to bust a move

When a cop pulls you over and asks, "Papers?

answer "Scissors." then drive away..

Sunday Jokes More Sunday Jokes

What does Uncle Vernon from Harry Potter not do on Reddit?

Post on Sundays.

What do cows do on Sundays?

they go to the moovies

Crow Bar Jokes More Crow Bar Jokes

How do the greek separate the men from the boys?

With a crow bar.

Where can you go to pick up black birds?

The crow bar

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What do you tell a mathematician if he does drugs?

You're high-on-pot...enuse. Thanks Key&Peele, I'll see myself out.

How can you tell if a turkey is from Germany?

By the way it Goebbels

Black Friday Jokes More Black Friday Jokes

When do cops blow up and destroy shopping centers and Walmarts?

During Black Friday.

Why did Han go out Black Friday shopping.?

because the prices were Solo

Saturday Jokes More Saturday Jokes

What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?

They go on peck-nics !

What days are strong days?

Saturday and Sunday, because the rest are weak days.

Bunch Jokes More Bunch Jokes

Why is the Math Book so sad?

It has so many problems! -Sorry doing a whole bunch of math today and i thought of this.

Why can't you trust a snowman?

Because they're all a bunch of flakes

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Where do you get a drink on Excel?

Formula bar

How do you get an Aussie to climb up on the roof?

Tell him drinks are on the house.