What did the blonde do when she discovered that most accidents happen within a mile from home?

She moved.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened when the composer got angry?

He flew off the Handel

What happened in China on Christmas?

The Rice-child was born.

Home Jokes More Home Jokes

Why don't they have bars in Syria?

Because, they prefer to get bombed at home.

What did the blonde do when she discovered that most accidents happen within a mile from home?

She moved.

Discover Jokes More Discover Jokes

What did the confused Mackem say when he discovered that he was smack bang in the middle of Newcastle?

I'm in the middle of *no Wear*

What did the Ukrainian Scientist receive after discovering the dangers of radiation?

A Chernobel Prize.

Mile Jokes More Mile Jokes

What's the difference between a lorry with good brakes, and a lorry with nice brakes?

A Lorry with Nice breaks doesn't stop until after a mile.

What do Reddit and building a mile long fence have in common?

Post...repost.....repost....repost...repost...

Accident Jokes More Accident Jokes

Why couldn't they find the cheesemaker after the accident?

He was trapped under da-Brie!

How is my wife doing?

Doctor: I'm so sorry. The accident has left her in a vegetative-like state and I don't think she'll ever recover. She can barely move her limbs, if at all, and will be confined to a bed or wheelchair without the ability to ever walk again. You'll need to care for her 24/7, clothe her, feed her, bathe her, and she'll have no control of her bladder or bowels. Again, I'm so, so, sorry... ..... ..... ..... Just kidding! She's dead.