Whatya doin?

Me: I fixed the toilet so I'm adding Potty Fixer to my resume W: You mean Plumber M: DO I LOOK LIKE A HOUSE SCIENTIST

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why was Tigger's head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.

Why do some fish always look high?

Because of all the seaweed.

Add Jokes More Add Jokes

Why did the chef add extra oregano to the sauce?

He was making up for lost thyme. Thank you, thank you. I'll just show myself out now.

Why couldn't the skeleton add 1 + 1?

Because he doesn't have a brain

House Jokes More House Jokes

What did the blind man say when he was asked what he thought about the renovation plan of his house?

I don't know.. I just don't see it.

How does a penguin build it’s house?

Igloos it together.

Toilet Jokes More Toilet Jokes

What did Euler see in the toilet?

Natural log

Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet?

That thing hurts!

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!

What do you mean, Johnny?

Is it shaped like a peanut " "No," says Johnny. "It's salty"

Fix Jokes More Fix Jokes

How many unemployed actors does it take to change a light bulb?

fixed) 100. 1 to change it and 99 to stand around and complain about how they coulda done a better job.

What does FIAT stand for?

Fix It Again Tony

W Jokes More W Jokes

How do you spell "we" with two letters without using the letters W and E?

U and I.

What's this payment?

Me: we're sponsoring a panda! W: so is this monthly M: No, it's just for the one skydive

Resume Jokes More Resume Jokes

How do you describe getting cancer on your resume?

As a real growth opprotunity

What is the prettiest thing about a DC girl?

Her resume.