Toilet Jokes

When you wake up in the morning with an erection so stiff, that when you bend it down to take a leak, your legs kick back and you hit your head on the toilet.

Why did the little boy flush a pencil down the toilet?

Because it was a Number 2.

Why did Tigger get stuck in the toilet?

He was looking for pooh.

What did Euler find in his toilet?

A natural log

Why did Scotty check all the toilets of the Starship Enterprise?

He was looking for the Captain's log.

What's the difference between a woman and a toilet?

The toilet doesn't insist on cuddling after you drop your load in it.

Why did Helen Keller scream?

Her parents left the plunger in the toilet.

Why did the janitor flush the toilet?

Because it was his duty.

Why did Tigger jump down the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.

What did they find in the toilet of the Starship Enterprise?

The Captain's Log.

What is the meanest practical joke one can pull on a blind person?

Leaving a plunger in the toilet.

What did the hot dog say on the toilet?

Mustuuurd

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl when it goes to the toilet?

Because the P is silent.

What is brown and sits in a toilet in a dutch attic?

The diarrhea of Anne Frank.

How does Sean Connery find his way to the toilet?

With a shat nav.

What do you have when you just used the toilet and realized there's no toilet paper?

A real mess on your hands.

Why was Tigger's head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh. - *My little brother told me this one hit me with a little bit of nostalgia.*

Why did he do that?

Who is she What does that mean When did that happen Why How I need to go to the toilet. - Child, at the cinema

Why do we call it toilet paper?

Does anyone wipe their toilet with it

What does a black women do after having a water birth?

Flush the toilet.

What does Neil Patrick Harris call his toilet?

His Dookie Houser

What's the difference between a toilet and a graveyard?

Nothing. When you have to go, you have to go.

What do you call an Igloo without a toilet ?

An Ig !

What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?

Wait until he's finished.

What does a parent say to their boy who keeps missing the toilet?

Urine trouble.

How do you guys tweet from the toilet?

I poop with both hands.

What's the worst thing you can do to a blind man?

Leave the plunger in the toilet

When the Little Mermaid became human how did she know how to use a toilet?

BIG-TIME plot hole in my opinion"

Why did the toilet make a joke about the balls?

It was low hanging fruit.

Why did Tigger look in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.

What's the definition of perfect pitch?

A: When an accordion is thrown down the toilet without it touching the sides.

How did Helen Keller's mother punish her?

She left a plunger in the toilet

What type of person does cocaine after taking a shot?

A linebacker I came up with this on the toilet... Hope it's not old.

What's the difference between sanctuary and prison?

Toilet paper.

What does cats and festival attendees have in common?

They both love using the toilet right after it's been cleaned.

What's the difference between a toilet and a sink?

Aaaand you're not allowed in my house anymore.

What's the smallest amount of money you would reach into a toilet to get?

Mine is a skittle.

What did Spock find in the toilet of the Starship Enterprise?

The Captain's Log.

Why doesn't anyone in insert nations capital use the toilet in the morning?

So they have something to do at night.

What is the best celebration to have in a French Toilet?

A biday party!!

How do you mess with a blind person?

Leave the plunger in the toilet.

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?

Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

What's the worst prank you can play on a blind person?

Leave the plunger in the toilet

What do you call a nut on a wall?

A walnut! What do you call a nut at the beach A beech nut! What do you call a nut in the toilet A peanut!!

How do you know you're flying over Poland?

A: Toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines.

What do you get if you cross a toilet with a pop singer ?

Loo-Loo !

What's the worst thing you can do to a blind person?

Leave the plunger in the toilet.

How do you print something when you've really got to go to the toilet?

You ctrl p.

What did they find floating in the toilet of the S.S Enterprise?

Captains Log

How do you say 'Toilet' in Japanese?

Dump-ring.

What did Euler see in the toilet?

Natural log

What do they call Redditting on the toilet?

Snoo on the loo

Why can't you hear pterodactyls go to the toilet?

Because the 'p' is silent.

What's long and black?

every day How did Hellen Keller lose her virginity Someone left a plunger in the toilet

What does a programmer do in the toilet?

A log dump!

When I get mad at you, you never fight back.How do you control your anger?

WIFE : I clean the toilet.... HUSBAND:How does that help WIFE : I use your toothbrush.

What did the toilet say when he was hitting on another toilet?

On a scale from one to ten, urinate.

What do you call a man who cleans out toilets ?

Lou !

How do her parents punish Helen Keller?

By leaving the plunger in the toilet.

How do you get even with Hellen Keller?

Comment your favorite Hellen Keller jokes) How do you get even with Hellen Keller Leave the plunger in the toilet

How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?

Somebody left the plunger in the toilet.

What do toilets yell when they ride roller coasters?

Weeeeeeeee!!!

What is the meanest thing you could do to a blind person ?

Leave the plunger on the toilet.

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