Spell Jokes

What word is always spelled incorrectly?

Incorrectly. I'll see myself out.

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How do you spell badly?

With a broken magic wand.

What spell does harry Potter use on halloween?

Spoopify

What do the wage gap and the story of Hercules have in common?

They're both myths.

What's the difference between a Warlock and a Sorcerer?

Apart from the Spelling?

How do you know that you're a peaceful country?

When you realize that you can't spell country without UN.

How are Harambe memes keeping up?

Cincinnati Zoo keeps trying to shoot them down.

What's a word that no matter how much you spelled it, it always wrong?

Wrong, the word is wrong

What is the only word in an English dictionary spelled incorrectly?

Incorrectly is the only word spelled I n c o r r e c t l y

What do you call a cantaloupe who can't elope?

A cantaloupe. The spelling is completely different...

Why is does a chicken coop have 2 doors?

Because if it had 4 doors it'd be called a chicken sedan. (better if saying it out loud because of the spelling of coop/coupe) -

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How do you spell "Pringles" in Spanish?

Pringls

How do you spell hypocrisy?

R-E-L-I-G-I-O-N

How do you spell Canada?

C-Eh?-N-Eh?-D-Eh?

Why did Caitlyn Jenner have a differently spelled version of Caitlin?

Because she can't get rid of the Y chromosome

Why do men like BMWs?

Because they can spell it. LOL LOL

What 11 letter word does every Yale graduate spell incorrectly?

I n c o r r e c t l y

How do you spell "apathy"?

I don't care.

How does a Metal Wizard perform his spells?

He ChromeCasts. anDruid humor.

What do you call a beast made entirely from egg whites?

A Meringue-u-tang!!! Note: I know it's spelled Orangutan. :P

How do you spell moron?

M O R M O N

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How do you spell Canda?

C,eh,N,eh,D,eh

How do you spell "laughing out loud" by using binary?

1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1

What is the difference between walking a dog in America and China?

The spelling.

What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A Tyrannosaurus Wrecks. EDIT: Spelled "Tyrannosaurus" incorrectly.

How do you spell Canada in Canadian?

C, eh! N, eh!, D, eh!

Why do Polish people's names end in 'ski'?

Because they can't spell toboggan.

Why do polish people all have ski at the end of their name?

Why do polish people all have ski at the end of their name? Because they can't spell toboggan.

What word is always spelled wrong?

Wrong

Why do all polish names end in ski?

Because they can't spell toboggan (This joke brought to you by a 90 yr old polish man I take care of at a nursing home)

Why did the kid cross the playground?

To get to the other slide. Edit: spelling.

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Why do all polish names end in SKI ?

They can't spell TOBOGGAN !

What's the difference between a normal woman and a witch?

The spelling Teehee

Why is 'dark' spelled with a k and not with c?

Because you can't see in the dark Badambum!

Why shouldn't you laugh when a black man falls off his bike?

It could be your bike. EDIT: Spelling.

What do you see when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?

A flat miner. EDIT: spelling

How do you spell "candy" with only 2 letters?

and

What is woman spelled backwards?

Kitchen

How do you spell women backwards?

Kitchen

How do you spell 'way' with an 'f'?

There's no 'f' in way

What's the favorite subject of young witches at school?

Spelling.

How do you spell relief?

F-A-R-T

What illness are you suffering from if you keep seeing cartoon animals who talk?

Disney spells.

What has seven arms and can't spell?

Def Leppard

What does a witch use to see if her spells are going to work?

Spell check!

Why do Polish names end in "ski" ?

A: Because they can't spell tobbagan.

What did Eminem say when his label spelled his name wrong?

It doesn't Mather.

How do you spell onomatopoeia?

Just spell it like the way it sounds!

How do you spell Mississippi?

Redneck: Which one The river or the state

How do you spell coward?

S-O-N-Y

How does a horny guy spell relief?

A: B-L-O-N-D-E.

This joke may have profanity.

Why can't Pirates spell the alfhabet?

RRRRRRRRRRRRRgh

What did you get 100 in?

Jason: Two things: I got 50 in Spelling and 50 in History. Mother: Well at least you can add !

Why do emo's always act so sour?

Because you can't spell Lemon without emo.

Why are hemorrhoid and diarrhea so hard to spell?

Like if you're talking about them, you aren't having a rough enough time already.

Why do blondes drive VWs?

A: Because they can spell it.

How do you spell candy with two letters?

C and Y

Why does America spell some words differently?

They said "We can do it without u, Britain."

Why isn't Cindy spelled Sindie?

Whoever caid C makes an S cound was ctupid.

What do you call a bee who's had a spell put on him ?

He's bee-witched !

Why do pop artists hate shoe shopping?

They have too many ft. *edit for spelling

Why is it spelled 'cancelled' in the UK, but 'canceled' in the US?

Because the US gave the UK that L back in 1776.

What happened to the naughty little witch at school?

She was ex-spelled.

Why was the student witch so bad at essays?

Because she couldn't spell properly.

What is the worst way to spell Mississippi?

Correctly.

What's the difference between a chicken and a hen?

The spelling.

How do you spell "we" with two letters without using the letters W and E?

U and I.

How can you spell chilly with two letters?

IC (icy) .

What's the reason Bollywood Cast parties are awkward?

They think Cast is spelled with an e.

What insect can be spelled with just one letter?

Bee.

What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital?

With any luck you'll be able to get up for a spell.

How do you spell that?

t-h-a-t

What's the difference between a "narrative" and a "circle jerk"?

How you spell them.

Why isn't Christmas spelled Christmals?

Because Noel.

Which ones?

Wife: BLTOUR & E Me: Well, that could spell trouble

What's a ducks favourite snack?

Quackers! **EDIT: Spelling**

How do you spell no?

Me: Sound it out. What makes the na na na na na na na na na sound 4: Batman (Spelling is hard)

Why is Hillary spelled with 2 L's?

One for 2008 and one for 2016.

What do you call a chicken with no neck?

A Hic. ----- wife hit me with this one today. Remove the n. E. C. And k. From chicken and it spells hic. I'm sorry Reddit.

What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?

Look! They spelled MACY's wrong!"

How does Bono spell color?

With or without "u"

How do you drowned a hipster?

Throw them in the mainstream. Edit: spelling because I'm 5

What's your best pick up line?

Cocaine Edit:spelling

Why did the blonde move to L.A.?

Blonde: I don't know. Why Teller: It was easier to spell. Blonde: Easier than what

How does it spell?

dg".

What's the difference between an American and a Canadian?

A: An Canadian not only has a sense of humour but can also spell it.

What are the two biggest differences between an alligator and a crocodile?

The spelling and pronunciation.

How do you spell wrong?

R o n g. That's wrong. That's what you asked for isn't it

Why must judges learn to spell well?

A: They must follow the letter of the law.

How do you spell ichael?

The teacher was rather bewildered. "Don't you mean Michael " she asked. "No ma'am. I've written the 'M' already."

What word in the dictionary is always spelled wrong?

Wrong.

How does Al Gore spell potato?

A: T-A-T-E-R.

Why do blondes drive BMWs?

A1: Because they can spell it. A2: Because they can spell BWM.

How do you spell "nose" is Spanish?

nose

How do you spell socks in Spanish?

Eso si que es.

How do you spell elephant ?

E-l-l-e-e-f-a-n-t "That's not how the dictionary spells it" "You didn't ask me how the dictionary spelt it !"

How can you spell too much with two letters?

XS (excess).

Why did the young witch have such difficulty writing letters?

She had never learned to spell properly.

How do you spell "SHOP"?

Me: S-H-O-P Friend: How do you say it Me: "Shop" Friend: What do you do when you get to a green light

How do you spell a hated opponent with three letters?

NME (enemy).

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