Work Jokes

Ten. (Shame this one doesn't work too well for reddit - the funniest part of this joke is the third punchline enjoying people struggle to understand what the hell you're talking about.)

Why did the corn maze go back to school?

It was tired of working in a dead end field.

What's the difference between a camera and a foot?

A camera has photos and a foot has five toes. (Told to me by a 9 year old child I work with)

Why didn't the Mexican guy at work take out the trash at work when I asked him?

He had -ity!

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How does the Asian chef get to work?

He woks.

Why did Miss Piggy call in sick to work?

Because she had a frog in her throat.

Why do elephants paint their testicles red?

So they can hide in cherry trees. Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? Shows you it works then. What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys picking cherries.

How do you get to a position of power in a science lab?

Work over time

What did the sniper say to his wife when he came back from work?

I missed you

Who do you call when your spacebar doesn't work?

A space engineer!

What do you call a sister who works for you?

Nun of your business.

Why does no work ever get done on the Sun?

Because it's always a Sun day

Why did the surgeon refuse to dress for work?

He didn't want no scrubs

How do you turn two colors that work into a rainbow that doesn't?

Colorizebot

Why did the feminist refuse to work at the post office?

Because it was a mail dominated industry

What did God say to the alcoholic spelling bee judge?

Define intervention." Came up with this today at work.

What do you call a vet that can only work on one animal?

A doctor

Why should you work for a vegetable factory?

Because they offer a good celery.

What drug does the lord use to get work done?

God speed.

Why couldn't the Sailor steal other peoples work?

It was Pirated.

Who says building a border wall wont work?

The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago and they still dont have any Mexicans.

What do you call a Snake game that doesn't work?

An E-Reptile dysfunction

What's similar between communists and communism?

Neither work.

What did the Middle Eastern dishwasher say when his boss asked him what he did all day at work?

Iraq the dishes in the dish rack and Iran the dishwasher

Why aren't there any mexicans in star trek?

They don't work in the future either.

How do you know your S&M partner works in IT?

They insist your safe word has an upper case letter, a lower case letter, and at least one number.

This joke may have profanity.

What does a gangbanger have in common with a soda machine?

They both don't work and always take your money

How can you tell if a dictionary has been working out?

You can see the definition.

What do you say when your GIF doesn't work?

You get the picture.

Why wasn't Daredevil in Civil War?

He doesn't work well with Vision

Why is stormtrooper always late from work?

He keeps missing his train

Why black people can't be seen in black and white movies?

Becuase they're working in the mine.

What do French labor reforms and French citizens have in common?

They'll never work.

What did Bruce Willis say to motivate his son?

Son, if at first you don't succeed, Try Hard. If that doesn't work, Try Hard 2. If that still doesn't work, Try Hard with a Vengeance. Remember, you can't pick between the choice to Live Free or Try Hard. They go together. Everyday's A Good Day to Try Hard."