What did you learn in kindergarten today?

5-year-old: A doughnut would help me remember. Apparently she learned bribery.

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Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Why did the giraffe cross the highway?

Because he bumped his head on the low-way! I guess we're doing 4 year old's jokes today :)

What would George Washington do if he was alive today?

Probably get suffocated in his collapsed coffin

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?

Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.

What is the recipe for honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone, without dressing. I remembered this today from a joke book I had when I was a kid. Wasn't sure if it should be here or /r/dadjokes

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

Why does it take so long for pirates to learn the alphabet?

Because they can spend years at sea.

What do you get when you watch Cinderella backwards?

You see a woman learn her place.

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

Where did they go?

Who took them Why aren't we helping to find them

How do you expect me to ignite the TNT below Kaiser's floating fortress?

Waterproof Match Man: Maybe I can help.

5 Year Old Jokes More 5 Year Old Jokes

How did the 5-year old girl fall off of the tire swing?

Somebody shot her.

How do you shoot a blue elephant?

With a blue elephant gun. You hold his trunk until he turns blue, then you shoot him with the blue elephant gun Edit: My 5 year old nephew loves this joke.

Kindergarten Jokes More Kindergarten Jokes

What did you learn in kindergarten today?

5-year-old: A doughnut would help me remember. Apparently she learned bribery.

Where were you between four and six?

I said, "Kindergarten."

Doughnut Jokes More Doughnut Jokes

How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?

He doesn't, he's dead!

What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bend over?

Doughnuts.