Why do you want to be a psychiatrist?

pictures clients acting like chickens after I click my fingers* I want to help people

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What kind of body do you want to have?

ME: *leans in close* I'd prefer human

Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!

Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the pathway?

By doing so, he got to the other side. Romney 2012.

Which day do chickens hate the most?

Friday.

People Jokes More People Jokes

What do you call a mummy that hates other peoples cooking?

Gordan Ramses

Why do people in tumblr like quantum computing?

Because it's non binary

Finger Jokes More Finger Jokes

How did a blind girl burn her fingers?

A. Reading the waffle iron

What do you get when you ask a proctologist for a second opinion?

Two fingers.

Psychiatrist Jokes More Psychiatrist Jokes

How many psychiatrists dose it take to change a light bulb?

How many psychiatrists dose it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb has to want to change.

What's the difference between a psychiatrist and his patients at the mental hospital?

The patients are the ones that get better and get to go home.

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

What TV personality lives in your phone?

SIM Card-ashian! (it might help if you say it out loud)

What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boy scout?

A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.

Act Jokes More Act Jokes

What do you call the act of press-ganging someone into a monastery?

Force of habit.

Why do emo's always act so sour?

Because you can't spell Lemon without emo.

Click Jokes More Click Jokes

How many buzzfeed employees does it take to screw a lightbulb?

Click here to find out!

Why are dolphins all friends with each other?

They just click you know