1000 Jokes

What do you call a black guy surrounded by 1000 white people?

Mr.President

No Pun Intended (The Last of Us Joke Books)

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What do you call 1000 emo kids at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.

What's the difference between a Lambo and 1,000 dead babies?

I dont have a Lambo in my Garage...

How British is Adele ?

She would call you at least 1000 times to tell how sorry she is .

How do you get 1000 dead babies into the bed of a pickup truck?

A blender! How do you get them out? Nacho chips!

What do you have when you have 1000 whites skydiving?

Oil

What do you call 1000 lesbians with guns?

Militia Etheridge

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

What do you call 1000 aches?

A .

What do you call a lesbian with 1,000 semi-automatic guns?

Militia Etheridge.

What is 1000 laughs called?

A gigglehert

Dad Jokes: Over 600 of the Best (Worst) Jokes Around and Perfect Gift for All Ages! (World's Best Dad Jokes Collection)

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What do you call 1000 heavily armed lesbians?

A. Militia Etheridge

How do you get 1000 cows into a barn ?

hold a bingo !!

Why were there only 1000 people at the Million Mexican March?

They only had 2 trucks.

Why do people want attention of 1000 pies?

because it's their sen-pais

Why is a room of 50 doctors safer than a room with 1000 doctors?

You can't survive in 1000 degrees. *credit to my friend Neriah.

What do you call 1000 black people buried up to their necks?

Afroturf Also, I'm not racist. I have two color tvs at home.

What do you call 1000 soldiers with no legs?

An army.

What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a ferrari?

I dont have a ferrari in my garage.

How many photos of Kanye West do you suppose Kanye West has on his phone?

More than 1,000

How many pollocks does it take to paint a house?

1 to hold the brush and 1000 to turn the house!

The World's Greatest Dad Jokes: The Complete Collection (The Heirloom Edition): Over 500 Cringe-Worthy Puns and One-Liners

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What do you get when 1000 politicians have an idea?

A dim light.

What do you call 1,000 liberals at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start! **an old joke that my dad used to tell at every party. You could replace "liberals" with pretty much anything.

Why was Adele's phone bill $500 this month?

She must have called a 1,000 times

Why were there only 1,000 Mexicans at the Alamo?

they only had 2 trucks

What do u call 1,000 black people on a plane back to Africa?

A good start.

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

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What do you call chips that aren't yours?

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What do you call a black guy surrounded by 1000 white people?

Mr.President

What do you call a C-average student from Texas?

Mr. President

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What do you call a naked old man crawling out of a coal mine?

50 shades of grey's anatomy

What do you call an Englishman with an IQ of 50?

Colonel, sir.

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What did the lightbulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.

How many pick-up artists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Zero. They just keep praising and negging it, and then get upset when it doesn't screw.

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What's the difference between an elevator and a black guy?

The elevator can raise a child.

What do you call three hundred white guys chasing a black guy?

The PGA tour.

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What rhymes with freedom?

Oil

What's brownish and runs on oil?

Jesus in a hurry.

Bulb Jokes More Bulb Jokes

How many Mennonites does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven - one to actually change the bulb and six to complain that they liked the old one better.

How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Five. One to handle the bulb and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What's the difference between a dog barking at the front door and a woman screaming at the back door?

If you let the dog in, it will shut up.

What's black?

Whats black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron.