Addict Jokes

Why don't drug addicts hang out at the beach?

They don't like getting sand in their crack.

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What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?

I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....

Which country has a drug-addicted king?

Hyrule.

What's the most popular religion for addicts?

the Crystal Methodists

What do you call someone addicted to both crack and weed?

A rockin' roller.

Why should you tell bad jokes to cocaine addicts?

Because they'll crack up anyways

Who is the favorite author of someone addicted to ecstasy?

Steven King. JK Rowling.

What's a joke that you invented?

Here's mine: Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day? He was basically addicted.

Whats the best thing about being addicted to speed?

Only one more sleep until Christmas!

Why was drug addicted Moses upset when he was floating down a river?

because he was in Da-Nile

Why did Mr. Pibb go see Dr. Pepper at Rehab?

Because he was addicted to Coke.

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What do you call a group of people addicted to Japanese drugs?

We abuse

What did the power ranger-turned-addict say?

It's morphine time!

What do you call a drug-addicted vampire?

Crackula

What do you call a drug-addicted canine?

A meth lab!

How are dogs and addicts similar?

They both have PAWS

What do you call a drug-addicted duck?

A quackhead.

Why do people get addicted to meth?

Because they didn't think of the aftermeth.

Why are wires addicted to electricity?

They can't resist.

Why does the addict avoid going to the bank?

Because he suffers from cash withdrawals.

What did the drug test say to the addict?

URINE TROUBLE!"

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What do crack addicts sing while caroling?

All I Want for Christmas is my two front teeth!

What do you call a duck addicted to crack?

A quack head. What is a ducks favorite snack Quackers. Why couldn't the duck drive his car His windshield was quacked.

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Crack Jokes More Crack Jokes

How many Chicago Policemen does it take to crack an egg?

None. It fell down the stairs.

What happened to the egg when he was tickled too much?

He cracked up.

Ya Jokes More Ya Jokes

When black guys say "ya feel me?

I literally feel them so they know exactly what level of white I'm operating at.

What do ya call a bunch of guys breaking into a music store and helping themselves to the stringed instruments?

A: Luters.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What do you call a cow with 3 legs?

my girlfriend who's a high school teacher heard this from a student the other day) Q: What do you call a cow with 3 legs? A: Lean Beef Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Ground Beef Q: What do you call a cow with 2 legs? A: Your mom