Find Jokes

Thought of this one on my own while playing WoW a couple days ago and I'm pretty sure it hasn't been told before. I like corny jokes. I Googled it and didn't find anything (:

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor?

Where's my tractor?

What kind of fish can you find in a hospital?

A sturgeon.

Star Wars: Dad Jokes: The Best Worst Jokes and Puns from a Galaxy Far, Far Away . . . .

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What do boys and algebra have in common?

They are both trying to find their X and they don't know Y.

What happens when i find a good joke?

I reddit.

How are children like cellphones?

If youve lost one and havent found it in a couple days, chances are its probably dead.

Why do telescopes like the Moon so much?

Because they find him very down to earth.

Why did the Stormtrooper buy an iPhone?

Because he couldn't find the Droid he was looking for.

Why is womens soccer so rare?

Why is womens soccer so rare? Its quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit.

Why don't cows drink milk?

because they lactose I don't know why I found this so funny! ready for the down vote to begin 3

What do you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs in the system?

A spider

How did the steak knife find himself after drunk driving?

In car, serrated

What's worse than finding your dad's fleshlight?

Finding his blacklight.

What did the NFL Commissioner say when Adele turned down the Superbowl Halftime Show?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

What was the REAL reason Harambe was executed?

He found Hillary's emails

What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet?

The Captains log

What happened when Isaac Newton met the apple?

He found the apple was a surprisingly down-to-Earth kinda guy.

What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!"

What's the stupidest animal you can find in a jungle?

A polar bear.

What would Burger Kings slogan be if Jesus founded it?

Have it Yahweh

One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Eve, but couldn't find them. God saw Adam and asked where Eve was? Adam replied, "She's down at the Ocean, taking a bath." "Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell."

Why cant orphans play baseball?

They cant find their home

Where do you find dragon milk?

Short legged cows

How many super saiyans does it take to change a light bulb?

Find out next time, on Dragon Ball Z!

What's the best part about Dragon Ball Z?

Find out in the next episode of Dragon! Ball! Z!

Why did the agnostic chicken cross the road?

There wasn't enough evidence to find out for sure.

How do we know that Jesus wasn't born in Mexico?

Because he'd never have been able to find 3 wise men and a virgin.

What U.S. state was founded by Muslims?

Allah-bama

Why don't nice people ride the train?

Because they're usually found on trucks.

What Pokmon can you find at Auschwitz?

Gastly

How do you pick out the Christian Terrorist out of a crowd?

Find the guy wearing a rebel flag.

What did Watson and Crick study to find DNA?

Rosalind Franklin's notes.

What does IDK mean?

I've yet to find someone who knows.

What can't I find on the internet?

My keys

How are a hobo and a balloon alike?

Both are without visible means of support. (My son found that in a children's joke book)

Why didn't they tell Chris Christie they took his pony away?

He would've found it hard to digest.

How can you find out the gender of an ant?

Throw it in the water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant. If it floats, it's buoyant

What's a mostly red rainbow called?

A pride flag found at Orlando.

What's the difference between awkward and awful?

Awkward is finding your mom on Tinder, awful is matching with her

Why did the gamer cross the road?

Buy the DLC to find out

Why did Tigger look down the toilet?

To find Pooh!

How does one find out the sensitivity of a gentleman's balls?

Test tickles

Why are all the archaeologists single?

Because they cant find dates

How do you find a drug dealer donkey?

Just follow his coke mules.

What's the difference between drunk people and black people?

Drunk people are found bars. Black people are found them.

How did the farmer find his wife?

He tractor down

Why was the Boy having trouble finding power in the Cul-de-sac?

There was no outlet

Why did the boy peek down the toilet bowl?

He was trying to find Winnie the Pooh.

Why did the bee get married?

Because he found his honey.

What is the most annoying part of boiling vegetables?

Finding a pot big enough for the wheelchair.

How do you find out what gender a stray cat is?

Carefully

What's the key to finding love?

Rohypnol

What did the Swedish chef say to his girlfriend when he found out she was pregnant?

Abort - Bort - Bort!

Why did the bad demon burn after finding the length it took to rise diagonally from hell?

cos' sin tans

What did Darth Vader say to Admiral Motti after browsing his collection of George Michael records?

I find your lack of Faith disturbing."

What will you find in the toilet of a ship?

The captains log.

What did Spock find in the Enterprise Bathroom?

The Captain's Log.

Who did the crocodiles call when they found one of their own dead?

The investiGATOR

How do you find out if the cat is dead or alive in the Schrodinger's cat paradox?

By thinking outside the box

How many stoners does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, I just set the bulb down somewhere, now I can't find it. Where the hell did the bulb go?

What's the difference between bacteria and rednecks?

When looking at bacteria you can actually find some culture.

What do you call an anarchist grandmother who just found out she's pregnant?

Rebel without a menopause.

Why did the circus animals go on strike?

The elephants found out that they were being paid peanuts compared to the rest of the troupe and the ringleader was taking the lions share.

What Color Is It?

In case you hadn't noticed, the color of the wind is 'blew.' Water always looks 'wet' to me. Dirt is oviously 'dirty.' Soup seems 'soupy.' If you can't find those Crayons in your box, contact CRAYOLA.

Why does pokemon have only one save file per game?

I mean think about it, One for Charmander One for Squirtle and one for your second charmander. (found that but it's against rules to post links lol so I'll just leave that here for a good laugh)

What's the hardest thing about having a colostomy bag?

Finding shoes to go with it.

What's long, straight, and found between a pair of legs?

The hypotenuse.

What's the difference between plants and black men?

Cells are found inside plants.

Why couldn't the anthropologist find any Lomekwian tools?

They were looking in Oldowan places

What did Darth Vader say to the vegetarian stormtrooper?

I find your lack of steak disturbing."

What is the difference between complete and finished?

If you find the right woman, you're complete.

Which web developer enjoys finding bugs?

A spider!

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What's the deal with airline food!?

LMAO

What's the deal with my laptop?

I'm sitting there typing and the battery drains, does this ever happen to you? So this little message pops up: Plug in or find another power source. Do you get that message? What other power source are they talking about? Well, I can't find that cable, so I'll go ahead and plug in to the hamster wheel generator I keep just in case. That's my other power source.

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