Girl Jokes

Its a Place where Boy posts a JOKE and Gets no Response & If a Girl Posts the same JOKE , She gets Hundreds of likes , comments and Friend Requests and Lots of PM's .

Why don't girls in San Francisco wear skirts?

Their balls would fall out.

What's your emergency?

Boy: Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning.

What did Jared say when the girl asked him for a footlong?

That he only has a 6 inch.

How do you know that a dog is a man's best friend?

Take your girl and your dog, and lock them in the back of a car, return in 5 hours, which one do you think will be happy to see you?

How do you impress a girl?

By growing up.

Why do girls always walk in groups of odd numbers?

Because they can't even...

Why did the cz-75 get the girl pregnant?

It took too long to pull out.

What do you call a girl with braces?

A Black & Decker Pecker Wrecker

This joke may have profanity.

How can you tell when a girl is vegan?

She'll tell you

Why do push up bras not work for some girls?

Because 0x0 is always 0.

Why did the girl fall off the swing?

Because someone threw a fridge at her....

What do Jaqen H'ghar from Game of Thrones and Christina Aguilera have in common?

They both know "what a girl wants" and "what a girl needs".

Why do girls always get mad when I try to read their shirts?

It's not my fault I'm blind.

Why do girls have legs?

ever seen the trail a slug leaves?

What do you call a girl who stands in the middle of a tennis court?

Annette.

What's the first rule for hitting on girls?

Hit them where it won't show.

What do you get the girl who has everything?

Penicillin.

Where do beers go to pick up girls?

Ho Gardens

What did the carpenter say to the girl he loved?

Oh sweetheart, you are the eye of my maple....

What's the worst thing a girl can wear to bed?

A condom

What does a girl from Arkansas say when she loses her virginity?

Get off me paw, you're crushing my smokes."

Why do girls who use Tumblr work so many odd jobs?

Because they literally can't even.

Where is the most ironic place to get a girl pregnant?

Abortion clinic.

This joke may have profanity.

What do you call a girl in between 2 houses?

Alane

How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?

She fell out of the tree! I may not be a girl, but I'm blonde and find blonde jokes hilarious. xD

Why did the girls fall off the swing?

Someone threw a fridge at her. It's not supposed to make sense

Where did the girl go when the bomb exploded?

Everywhere.

What do you call a girl that sleeps with you for your Adderall?

A total attention whore.

This joke may have profanity.

What do straight guys and lesbians have in common?

They both like girls

Why didn't the girl ride her bike to go water the neighborhood flower bed like usual?

Because the pedals fell off.

Why does a girl who uses chewing tobacco give the best head?

Because she's knows what to spit and what to swallow.

Why do girls wear make-up and perfume?

Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

Why are girls like rocks?

You skip the flat ones.

What did Santa Clause give all the naughty boys and girls for Christmas this year?

He made them Batman.

Why can't the incredible hulk find a girlfriend?

Because all the girls know he just wants to smash

How do girls know when they are adults?

When they start to like spankings

What do girls and snowflakes have in common?

They can't drive cars.

Why did the yankee wolf like southern ladies?

By the time they said "I'm not that kind of girl" they were.

What does a guy drink when he wants to go out with a girl?

DATERADE

What's the worst thing about banging a girl with a cold heart?

The rest of her is cold too.

How did the girl with fetal alcohol syndrome tag a picture of herself on instagram?

nophiltrum

Why do girls always go in threes when using the restroom?

Because they can't even.

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Boy Jokes More Boy Jokes

Why did the boy fall off the bike?

Someone threw a fridge at him.... Gold

What did Mike Tyson say to the boy who gave him a bouquet at his final boxing match?

Tysssonssss

Soap Jokes More Soap Jokes

Why did the little pig hide the soap?

He heard the farmer yell "Hogwash!"

Where's the safest place to hide money from a man?

Under the soap

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

Whats the difference between a woman and a floppy drive?

A Floppy Drive can only take 3.5" Inches.

What's the difference between a woman kneeling in prayer and a woman kneeling in a bathtub?

a woman kneeling in prayer has hope in her soul.

Bath Jokes More Bath Jokes

Why does Tiger have to take so many baths?

Because he plays with Pooh all day.

Why'd the robber take a bath?

A: He wanted to make a clean getaway.

Bathtub Jokes More Bathtub Jokes

What do you call three Egyptian women in a bathtub?

Gorillas in the mist

What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub?

The woman in church has hope in her soul... The woman In the bathtub has soap in her hole.

Sink Jokes More Sink Jokes

How does one sink, that which floats?

How does one sync, that which floats Well, we type case the variable to make sure that both sides of the equation are of type, floats.

Why are women's feet smaller than men's?

So they can stand closer to the sink.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

How do you throw an egg at the wall without breaking it?

With the chicken still around it

What is the most prudent thing to do when someone is having an epileptic seizure in a hot tub?

Throw in your laundry.

World Jokes More World Jokes

How many Bernie supporters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to hold the lightbulb, and the rest of the world to revolve around them

How many lead guitarists does it take to change lightbulb?

One. He just stands there with the lightbulb and the whole world revolves around him.