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Thought of this one on my own while playing WoW a couple days ago and I'm pretty sure it hasn't been told before. I like corny jokes. I Googled it and didn't find anything (:

What is big and brown and plays the accordion?

Lawrence Elk

What's the difference between Eric Clapton and a snooker player?

One plays with an electric guitar, the other a-cue-stick.

Why shoudn't you play poker in Africa ?

Because of all the Cheetahs!

Why are stormtroopers so bad at aiming?

Because they're playing on console.

How do you feel when you're playing Mortal Kombat and the air conditioning goes out?

Toastyyy!

How do you get a Criminal to stop running?

Play the national anthem

Why do you not play Uno with Mexicans?

Cuz they take all the green cards

Why did Jesus stop playing hockey?

Because he kept getting nailed to the boards.

Why was the man arrested for having his skin flute played?

It was in A-minor

4.7

Ceramic

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Why don't they play CS:GO in the jungle?

too many cheetahs

What game should you play to get your mother's attention?

PokeMom

What did the violin say when it finally played the music correctly?

Viola.

What gets harder the more you play with it?

A Rubik's cube, you dirty minded individuals!

Why are Pokemon terrible to play hide and seek with?

Because they pikachu

Why did Chandler play the blues as loud as he could?

He wanted to harm monica.

What would Game of Thrones be called if it was about ice cream?

Game of Cones If it was about sword sharpening: Game of Hones If it was just everyone playing Go: Game of Stones If everyone was single: Game of Alones If it was about balls: Game of Throwns If it was about spooky scary skeletons: Game of Bones If everyone used UAVs to fight: Game of Drones If everyone was a banker: Game of Loans If it was about breakfast foods: Game of Scones

What do you call a Chinese kid playing college football?

A wok on.

What game show do pickles play?

Dill or No Dill

Which playing card can turn its hand to everything?

Jack of all Spades

What's the definition of endless love?

Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis.

Why don't they play poker in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs.

Why do Democrats like to play Pokemon?

They've always enjoyed rounding up Japanese monsters.

How do you know Tiger Woods is one of the richest people in the world?

He plays golf.

What's the difference between a Blues musician and a Jazz musician?

A blues musician plays 3 chords to audiences of thousands. A jazz musician plays thousands of chords to audiences of 3

Why do black people play basketball?

Because it teaches them how to shoot, run and steal.

What's the worst part about admitting to your friends and family you play PokemanGo?

Having to admit you have autism :,P

Why did the suicidal man cross the road?

Because he wanted to play chicken.

What did the experienced guitarist say to the new guitarist that was nervous about playing?

Dont fret about it.

How much money does the Government pay people with autistic disorder?

Enough to buy a computer that can play League of Legends.

Why can't America play chess?

They are missing 2 towers

Why does Piglet stink so bad?

Cause he always plays with Pooh.

What's the difference between a PC gamer and a console player?

One spends 400 dollars on a console that will play games for years, the other pays 400 dollars for a graphics card that will be outdated in a week

What do the Golden State Warriors do when they're not playing basketball?

They watch moving picktures.

Why can't the T-Rex play the piano?

Cause they're dead!

Why don't they let gansters play Quidditch?

Cause gangsters always catch the snitch!

Why should you never play poker with a crocodile?

You will lose every hand.

Why do the Marines call it Parris island?

Because they like to play with each other's oui oui.

What instrument do skeletons play?

A trombone!

Why can't you play Uno with Mexicans?

They steal the green cards.

Why did no-one want to play a game with the leopard?

He was a cheetah.

What animal is best at playing hide and seek?

The airplane.

Why haven't any subscribers to r/TheRedPill played Overwatch yet?

They don't play the beta.

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb?

Lets go play on our bikes.

Why couldn't the redneck kid play baseball?

Because he fell down a stairs and his dad definitely didn't break his legs.

Why is Coolio always able to play craps?

He's got a gangsta's pair a dice.

Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted.

What do you call two nuns playing a bongo?

A conundrum.

Why can't New Yorkers play chess?

They're short 2 towers.

Who wants to play war?

I'll lay down and you can blow the hell out of me!

Where's the best place to pick up a girl who plays hard-to-get?

Around the ankles and wrists :D

Where do all the normies play?

In the areeeeeiiiiiiiiina

What does all pirate music have in common?

It's all played in the high C's.

What do you call kangarooo jump and play hocky?

the fam copter

How does a lawyer from Panama play his guitar?

He shreds.

What musical instrument do people with STDs play?

The herpsichord.

What do you get when you play a country song backwards?

Your wife back, your dog back, your house back...

How do you play the Oscar Pistorius drinking game?

Every time your girlfriend goes to the bathroom, take two shots

When is the earliest time of day Nintendo fans play games?

The Wii hours of the morning.

How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?

Depends on what tune the Devil happens to be playing. Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha.

How do you play Taliban bingo?

B-52...F-16...B-1..

Why doesn't Jesus play hockey?

He's always nailed to the boards....

What game do French schoolchildren like to play?

Simon 16

What do you call Kurt Russel playing an archaeologist?

Kurt Fossil

What bands did they hire to play at the Developmental Disability Conference?

System of a Downs My Chemical Imbalance. Youth In Asia

What do you call group of mentally handicapped kids at a performance of "Peter Pan"?

Slow Children At Play

Why doesn't Jesus play hockey anymore?

He kept on getting nailed into the boards.

Why aren't puns called pows?

It is a play on words, after all

Why couldn't the salad bowl play Scrabble?

It had run out of lettuce

Whats a mile long and has a thousand arms?

The train to Auschwitz. Some German guy i used to play Path of Exile with told it to me.

What type of music do they play at Chinese Restaurants ?

Wok n' Roll

What do you give an actor playing the role of an angry street gang member?

Mad props...

What do you get if you play a country music song backwards?

You get your wife back. Your house back. Your truck back. Your dog back...

Why can't Emma Watson ever play Hermione Granger again?

Cos once you go black, you never go back.

Which is the best kind of dinosaur to play hide & seek with?

An I-Don't-Think- He-Saurus

Why should the Pope play NBA basketball?

Because every time he puts up a prayer it gets answered. (I thought of this myself, but it is so corny, it could easily be in every damn joke book.)

Which video game do Mexicans play the most?

Borderlands

Why can't Cinderella play soccer?

Because she keeps running away from the ball

What is the difference between Christmas music and Kobe Bryant?

Christmas music will still be playing next year.

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