Robot Jokes

What do you call a #robot stranded in the ocean?

A row bot.

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Why don't robots have brothers?

Because they all have trans-sisters

What do you call it when two robots miscommunicate?

A syntax error.

How do I turn my new girlfriend on?

She's a robot and the instructions are in Chinese.

What does a robot do after a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts

Where do Robots go for fun?

The Circuits! (this is a joke i made up when i was like 10, i don't think it ever caught on)

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

Why is the robot good at one night stands?

Because he nuts and bolts.

Why couldn't Marco Rubio register on a web forum?

The website required him to prove that he is not a robot.

Why did the robot cross the road?

Because it was carbon bonded to the chicken.

Why was the Robot angry at the engineer?

Because he screwed his wife!

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What is the difference between a robot and a sandwich?

Everything. These two objects have nothing in common.

What did the robot say to the gas pump?

Take your finger out of your ear and listen to me!" I saw this in a Highlights magazine when I was a kid.

What do you say when a robot explodes into pieces?

Rest in pieces. I'll show myself out now.

What do you call it when the robot from Futurama gets in a minor car accident while wearing a dress?

A gender bender Bender fender bender.

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a robot?

Steel wool

What do you call a robot dressed in drag?

A transition metal.

What did the robot say to the centipede?

Stop being a centipede." Get it, because the robot has no arms! Hahhahaha, gets me everytime.

What do you call a robot whose brain is unplugged?

Mentally dis-cabled.

What do robots do at the rave?

They torque.

What do you call a pony mixed with a robot?

RoboClop....so sorry

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Why did the robot get the electric chair?

Because he was charged with battery.

Why do Transformers always have their heads in the clouds?

They're robots in da skies.

Why don't robots have any brothers?

They all have transisters.

What did the robot say to the other robot as they destroyed each other?

Nothing personal."

What do you get when you cross a Triceratops and a lemon?

A. A Dino-sour 2.Q. Were do robots go to worship A. Mech-a

Why do robots make bad lovers?

Nuts &amp bolts!

What do you call a robot that doesn't support his children?

Nuts and bolts

What sounds like a robot and bumps into tables?

Stephen Hawking.

What do robots do on a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts

What does a robot do at the end of one night stand?

He falls off

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Why's the ch pronounced differently in orchid than in orchard?

ROBOT: twitch, spark

What do you call the process of a robot clearing its artificial nose?

An olfactory reset.

What do you call a one night stand with a robot?

Nut and bolt

Why don't robots have any brothers anymore?

Because they have trans-sisters.

Why are robots never afraid?

Because they have nerves of steel

What do robots put at the bottom of their e-mails?

Yours tin-sincerely.

Why was the robot cold?

He was missing his winter gear

Why did the robot get detention?

Because he was accused of Boolean.

What do you call a robot doing the Gangnam Style dance?

A Psy-borg.

Why do robots make bad boyfriends?

They just screw, nut, then bolt.

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Register Jokes More Register Jokes

Why was Six afraid of Seven?

Because Seven was a registered six offender.

When I walked to the register with the condoms the clerk asked "Would you like a bag?

I replied "No, she's not that ugly"

Marco Rubio Jokes More Marco Rubio Jokes

Who is left?

Marco Rubio

Why couldn't Marco Rubio register on a web forum?

The website required him to prove that he is not a robot.

Movie Jokes More Movie Jokes

What was Arnold Schwarzenegger's answer when asked which historical person he would like to play in a movie?

I'll be Bach.

Why couldn't the orphan watch the movie?

Because it was PG

Ocean Jokes More Ocean Jokes

What sits at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A drowning epileptic.

Why do people always ask me for directions?

I have no clue where I am going. I am sure i have sent 100's of people into the ocean.

Row Bot Jokes More Row Bot Jokes

What do you call a transformer in a canoe?

A row bot

What do you call a #robot stranded in the ocean?

A row bot.

Website Jokes More Website Jokes

What do you call a WordPress website that dresses up like another type of website?

DruPal

When is it acceptable to not tip your server?

when your a system admin, and your server if tipped could destroy many websites.

Step Jokes More Step Jokes

What does a dog do that you step in?

Pants.

What does the Pink Panther say when he steps on an ant?

Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnntttttttt Courtesy of my little cousin.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What if Stephen hawking was the real slim shady?

but we would never know because he couldn't stand up

What do you call ten German men standing abreast, walking backward?

OC A receeding Herr line.