Smell Jokes

What's Invisible and Smells Like Mice?

Cat Farts...

Dock Tok Presents…The Good, the Dad, and the Punny: Jokes from the Water’s Edge

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What's black and smells like people?

Black People

What's invisible and smells like bananas?

Monkey farts

How do you react to the fragrance of a bottle of wine from the year 2000?

Smells like teen spirit.

Why do women love the smell of babies so much?

Because 50% of the taste is in the smell.

What did the baker say about her co-worker who never sleeps and always smells funky?

At yeast he's a fungi.

What's green and furry and smells like pig?

Kermit the Frog's finger

Why do blacks smell?

So blind people can hate them too.

Why do you smell like weed?

Me: How do you know what weed smells like ! Busted, mister! You're grounded for a week. Dad: Okaayy :(

Why do women wear perfume and makeup?

Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

When do you kick a dwarf in the balls?

When he is standing next to your lady saying her hair smells nice.

101 Tear-Off Lunchbox Notes with Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids, Funny Inspirational Encouragement for Kids, Space to Write Personal Message

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What's long, green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs fingers"

What's in a name?

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. But, if roses were called "herpes" they'd make terrible Valentine's Day gifts.

What do you get if you cross a skunk and a boomerang?

A smell that keeps coming back!

How do elephants smell?

A: Really bad.

When is the appropriate time to kick a midget in the balls?

A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice

How does he smell?

A: Terrible!

What's green and smells like Ms. Piggy?

The Boston Celtics

Why does Piglett smell nasty?

He plays with Pooh.

Why did God make farts smell?

So that deaf people could enjoy them too.

What's black and smells like Shiraz?

Tyrone Lannister

The Best Worst Dad Jokes: All the Puns, Quips, and Wisecracks You Need to Torment Your Kids

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What is something that tastes better than it smells?

A tongue

What pick-up line works 100% of the time?

Does this smell like chloroform to you

What do Fort McMurray and a 1998 Pontiac Sunfire have in common?

Both are full of white trash and smell like burning oil.

Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?

Because you're breaking wind.

What is the feeling that you've smelled a certain skunk before?

Deja phew!

Why do girls wear perfume and makeup?

Because they're ugly and they smell bad

Why don't Superman's farts smell?

Because krypton gas is odourless.

Why did the Nevada skunk cross the state border?

To follow the smell of legal dank skunk buds.

What kind of tree smells like bacon?

Original ) A Porcupine!

What did the seamen say to each other when they entered a deep dark cave?

Smells fishy

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Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.

What tastes good but doesn't smell good?

A tongue. Hehe

What's green and smells like ham?

Kermit the frog's finger

What's a skunk's favourite game in school?

Show and smell!

How do you stop a fish from smelling?

Cut its nose off.

Whats the difference between a hippie on fire and a lifetime supply of patchouli?

I don't wish for a lifetime supply every time I smell patchouli.

Why do Egyptian farts smell the same?

They have toots in common.

What did Hannibal Lecter say to the philosophy professor after the lecture?

I can smell your Kant.

Which perfume do you use ?

It smells good. I want to buy one for my wife." Lady: "Please don't. Some idiot will have an excuse to talk to her."

When dad Waits to see you on thanks giving Son:We just Ate Dad:OK so you can be here at 5?

Son:We'll see Son:how does the turkey smell Dad : I guess through its Beak

What happens when a clown farts?

It smells funny. --As told to me by an Engineering lead... Much facepalm ensued.

What is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion ?

One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea.

Why do women put on makeup and perfume?

Because they're ugly and smell bad...

What does black Vin Diesel smell like?

What does black vin diesel smell like Vinegar.

What does God smell like?

Me: 4-year-old: Me: Nachos. 4-year-old: With cheese

Why does r/jokes smell like rotten eggs?

Because it's full of bad yolks.

What is the best use for a wet dog?

x-post from /r/MeanJokes Getting the smell of white people out of your house.

Why do little girls put fishes down their pants?

So the can smell like big girls!

When the cat's away.....?

The house smells better !

Why do rednecks always smell like pickles, mayonnaise, and ham?

Because they're inbred.

What does the Illuminati smell like?

New World Odor

What does a new Tesla car smells like?

Elon Musk

Why does Piglet smell?

Because he plays with Pooh.

What have you got on?

I've got a hard on. But I didn't know you could smell it."

How does a blacksmith know you farted?

He smelt it

What lies on the ground 100 feet up in the air and smells?

A dead centipede.

What's long green and smells like pork scratchings?

Kermit the frogs finger.

What do you have on?

The man says, "I have a hard on but I didn't know you could smell it."

What's slimy, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermits finger.

How do you stop a dog smelling ?

Put a peg on it's nose !

What did Nirvana say when they drove past a burning school bus?

Smells Like Teen Spirits"

What's do pot and pusssy have in common?

You can tell the quality if you can smell it across the room.

What do you get if you cross a tarantula with a rose ?

I'm not sure but I wouldn't try smelling it !

What is Bill Cosby's arch-nemesis?

Smelling salts.

What part of a football pitch smells nicest?

The scenter spot!

Why do all Egyptian's farts smell the same?

Because they have a tutankhamun!

How do you stop a monster from smelling?

Cut off his nose.

What's green, sticky and smells like eucalyptus?

Koala vomit

What's red like a strawberry, hard like beef jerky, smells like vinegar, and is found under your bed?

Me neither. Help.

What did one smell say to the odor?

You stink at telling jokes."

What did the mods say when they found me giving Reddit gold to my alt account?

He who smelt it, dealt it.

Why a conch shell, and why there of all places?

So that when you put your ear against it, you can smell the ocean."

What is the one smell you can never get out of the house, no matter what you spray or what incense you burn?

Your grandparents.

What is the difference between a Gynecologist and a Urologist ?

The smell of their fingers.

What do you call an athlete that smells good?

D. O. Durant

Why doesn't the queen's farts smell?

Because it's a noble gas.

What's the difference between a walrus and a lesbian?

One smells like fish and has a mustache, and the other is a walrus.

What's it called when a smell dates his sister?

Incense!

What does socialism smell like?

It has a Bernie smell.

Why does it smell of tires?

There are two black people fighting.

When do you kick a midget in the nuts?

When he stands next to your girlfriend and says her hair smells nice.

Why do black people smell bad?

So blind people can hate them too

What do beef hearts smell like?

Honey.

What did one snowman say to the other snow man?

Do you smell carrot?

What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between us, something smells!

What is red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint!

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Where is the lost city of Atlantis?

Lantis. I can't believe nobody has thought to look there yet.

Why does all Turkish men have a mustache?

because they wanna look like their mother.

Remind Jokes More Remind Jokes

Why is there cotton on top of the pills inside a pill bottle?

To remind black people they picked cotton before they sold drugs.

What do my iPhone and my girlfriend have in common?

They both go off again two minutes later to remind me of the same thing.

Duty Jokes More Duty Jokes

What is a businessman's favorite game?

Call of Duty: Economic Warfare

What is similar between the life of an Ethiopian kid and the hype of Call Of Duty: Infinite Warfare?

They're practically non existent.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell a chemist no?

Nitrogen Monoxide

What did Tom Riddle's calculator tell Harry Potter?

8008132

Damn Jokes More Damn Jokes

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad sky diver?

The bad golfer goes ::Whack:: "Damn it!" The bad sky diver goes "Damn it!" ::Whack::

What does Shakespeare say when he is angry with his dog?

Out, out, damned Spot!

Green Paint Jokes More Green Paint Jokes

What is green and smells like red paint?

Green paint. Haha

What is red... And smells like green paint?

Red paint! Whats green, and smells like red paint Green paint :) Can't believe how many time I switch to the second, and they don't get it!

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What happened to you?

the doctor asks. "I stepped on something."

How many babies does it take to stop a puck?

Ask Subban from the Hans to find out

Snow Man Jokes More Snow Man Jokes

What's the difference between snow men and snow women?

Snow balls.

What is worse than a carrot that smells like a snow women?

One that smells like a snow man.