Mcdonald Jokes

How are America and McDonald's similar?

They are both run by red-headed clowns.

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How many McDonalds workers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, because they can't climb the ladder.

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Iowa?

Prom

How do you tell 2 Scotsmen apart?

You lift their kilts, and whichever one of them has a Quarter Pounder is a McDonald!

Why didn't Michael J Fox order food at McDonalds?

He got the shakes instead.

What's the difference between Kim Kardashian and a homeless man who works at McDonalds?

One of those greasy bums is making a lot more money.

How can you tell the clan of a Scotsman?

Look under his kilt, if it's a quarter-pounder, he's a McDonald.

What did the Joker say when he was at McDonalds?

May I take your order?"

How Do You Tell 2 Scottsmen Apart?

A: You lift their kilts, and whichever one has a Quarter Pounder is a McDonald!!

What's the difference between LinkedIn and McDonald's?

McDonald's knows how to use salt

How many McDonald's counter girls does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to put some chips with it.

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What is McDonald's demolition service called?

Quarter pounder.

What does a bee get at McDonalds ?

A humburger !

What's the difference between a blonde and McDonald's?

A: A blonde serves more people in a night.

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Wisconsin?

Prom night.

Why did Burger King decide to partner with Dairy Queen instead of McDonalds?

Because she unwrapped his Whopper. I'm so sorry!!!

What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common?

Immigrants

What do you call a holy man who works at McDonald's?

A Friar

Which NBA team likes McDonald's the most?

Denver Nuggets

Where're you going?

Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

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Whopper?

McDonalds responded by introducing a 3/5ths pounder.

What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds.

How did you lose your last job?

I quit because I wanted a career with a bright future." Sir, this is McDonald's.

Why doesnt McDonalds serve snail?

Because of sanitation reasons.

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What type of flour do you buy an orphan?

Self raising.

What type of sushi does Bob Seger like?

That Old Thai Moroccan Roll.

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What do bored frogs do on a Friday night?

They go Bar Hopping!...

What do brunettes and red-heads do on Friday nights?

Make blonde jokes!

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What did Russians use for light before candles?

Light bulbs

What does RoboCop use for fuel?

Petroleum

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What do agnostic, insomniac dyslexics do at night?

A: Stay awake and wonder if there's a dog

Why did Elton John's trucking company only work weekends?

Because Saturday nights alright for freighting.

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Why did the mafia boss get banned from the aquarium?

He was sleeping with the fishes.

What can I get ya?

And in a very raspy voice the fish says, "WATER"

Ronald Mc Donald Jokes More Ronald Mc Donald Jokes

Why didn't Ronald McDonald like to go fishing?

Because every time he did, he'd catch a whopper.

What is written on Ronald McDonald's gravestone?

McRIP

Iowa Jokes More Iowa Jokes

Whats the best place to drive to in Iowa?

The Middle. That way, you're always driving out of Iowa.

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Iowa?

Prom

Lift Jokes More Lift Jokes

What do you call a rabbit who lifts weights?

A jacked rabbit.

How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand.