What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's your favorite word?

5-Year-Old: Empathy! I don't even know what it means! Me- I know how you feel.

How do you know when a hippy chick is on the rag?

She's only wearing one sock.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why didn't George like driving through tunnels with people in his car?

He didn't want to get carpool tunnel syndrome.

How can if you have a stupid dog ?

It chases parked cars !

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why was the man selling CDs at 12:30 a.m.?

Because his mixtape was to die for...

What do you call a man who excels at fishing?

A master baiter

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

How many dogs does it take to count 14 plates?

14, maybe 15, but only if the plates ... 'run around a lot!'

How many black guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?

You cant count them when its dark

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

What did the dolphin say when three orcas swam by?

Whale, whale, whale, who do we have here? Please, this is a cry for help.

Why is it so hard to help deaf people?

Because they never listen.

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

What's the difference between a woman and a toilet?

The toilet doesn't insist on cuddling after you drop your load in it.

What are you supposed to do when someone is having a seizure in the bath?

throw a load of dirty laundry in.

Calculator Jokes More Calculator Jokes

What did one calculator say to the other when it was time for it to leave?

Aight I'll calcu-lata

What do you get when you put a number 1 and a number 2 on your calculator?

A huge mess.

Agree Jokes More Agree Jokes

What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.