Test Jokes

What do biology students do when they do poorly on a test?

They bio-D-grade.

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How do you know Satan's barbeque ribs are good?

Cos they're trident tested. #noapologies

Why does vegan cheese taste bad?

It hasnt been tested on mice.

What's the best score you can get on a test?

Not Pregnant"

What is mother-approved and child-tested?

Coat-Hanger Abortions

Why did Jesus go to a Candy shop?

To Test a Mint

What do you say if you're testing a new firearm?

I'll take a shot"

What do you have to use to check a test on Telemarketing?

A Scamtron.

What was the humor like back then?

I was just wondering about how many jokes today maybe irrelevant 100 years into the future. To test this theory, what are the oldest recorded jokes?

Why was the Jedi so good at the synthesizer?

He had a high MIDI-chlorian count. Test.

Why can't animals take tests?

Too many cheetahs!!!!

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What's the worst part about getting AIDS?

Having to tell your friend his kids should get tested.

How do you test a pirate for crabs?

Swab the deck!

What's a paralympian's worst nightmare?

Testing positive for WD-40

Why did the redneck drive his pickup truck over the edge of a cliff?

He wanted to test out his new air brakes.

When do the leaves begin to turn?

The night before a test.

What did the calculus student who failed his test and the guy who got a speed ticket have in common?

They didn't know their limits

What should you do when life gives you melons?

Get tested for dyslexia.

How do u kno the deceased?

I was his drug dealer. "Louder for the tape " leans in I was his rug feeler. Tested his rugs.

What do you call a fruit that stays up very late to study for tests?

A: A cramberry.

Why did the Pepsi executive get fired?

He tested positive for Coke.

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What did the asian do after receiving a test with a bad grade?

Bangladesh

What do you call high school students doing a digestive system test?

In-test teens.

Why didn't the scientist tell his colleague the t-value of a test with 21 degrees of freedom and a p-value of 5%?

It was a t-crit! Thank you and goodnight!

How did you do in your tests ?

I did what George Washington did ! What was that Went down in history !

What do you call a pig that has never been tested for an infection?

Uncultured swine.

How do you test a saltshaker ?

You call in a redditor.

Why did the boy laugh when he was molested by a test?

Because the testicles

Why do asian parents give their children short names?

More time on tests.

Why do drugs for small dogs have to be tested on larger ones first?

All canine drugs must be lab tested before their public release.

Which is the only bank that drug tests all of its employees?

PNC

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Why did Stephen get an A on his test?

He held his teacher at gunpoint and forced her to give him a good grade despite the fact he got an F.

Why was the scientist allowed to use dolphins for his experiments?

Because they were for test porpoise only

How do you test for pregnancy in Harlem?

See if the tampon's cotton was picked.

Why doesn't ISIS Like School?

Because they always bombed their tests.

What did the drummer get on his test?

Drool

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Pie Jokes More Pie Jokes

Whats the worst joke you can play on an American?

Two pies to the face and one somewhere in a field in Pennsylvania.

How does Davy Crockett take his pie?

A'lamode

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What's the fastest way to drive through Louisiana?

Drive the route with Les Miles! ... I'll see myself out.

Why should a good driver always carry weed in his car?

So he always hits the green when he's driving.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed?

Sleep on the sofa.

How do you find a drug dealer donkey?

Just follow his coke mules.

Fail Jokes More Fail Jokes

Why did the Mexican fail English 101?

He wouldn't turn in his essay

Why did my Exotic Bird Startup Store fail?

I didn't have enough seed money.

Bio Jokes More Bio Jokes

What do biology students do when they do poorly on a test?

They bio-D-grade.

What did the mushroom put in his bio for the online dating service?

Im a fungi

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why can't Black Beard use the N-word?

He always says it with a hard "arrr."

How do you get a baby in and out of a small bowl?

Use a blender to get it in, use tortilla chips to get it out!

Determine Jokes More Determine Jokes

How do you determine the personality of a hot dog?

Give it an Oscar-Myers-Briggs test

Why should apiarists determine standards of beauty?

Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you get Sigmund Freud to screw a lightbulb?

Tell him the lightbulb is his mother.

What do monkeys sleep on?

Apricots. I used to love this joke when I was a little kid and told it over and over. I'm still a little in love with it for that reason. What are some of your favorite jokes from when you were a little kid?