Room Jokes

How much room is needed for fungi to grow?

As mushroom as possible

No Pun Intended (The Last of Us Joke Books)
4.9

Paperback

Available on Amazon

How did Henry VIIIs wife enter the room?

Amble in (Anne Boyeyn) I made this joke up and am very proud of it :)

What room is it?

When you arrive at the international airport you are American. There is a room that changes your nationality. When you enter this room you are Russian, when you leave this room you are Finnish, and while inside European. What room is it?

Why did the teacher cross the room?

To get to the other slide.

How do you tell the difference between Al Gore and the secret service when they're in the same room?

Al Gore's the stiff one.

What kind of room doesn't have any doors/windows inside?

A mushroom.

How many babies does it take to paint a room?

Depends how hard you can throw them.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a room?

Depends on how you throw (idk if this is a repost)

Why did Pavlov ring a bell every time a breeze entered his room?

Air Conditioning

How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they just shoot the room for being black.

What do you call a crazy guy in a room full of mosquitoes?

A bit neurotic.

Minecraft: The Official Joke Book
4.7

Paperback

Available on Amazon

What do you get when you keep two Lannisters in the same room for a bit?

3 Lannisters.

How do you depress a room full of geeks?

Hold the door! I'm a leaf on the wind!"

Why did the hotel refuse hospitality to the Navy?

They didn't want their rooms covered with seamen.

How did the elephant get into the room?

We don't talk about it...

Why do sailors drink so much?

We sleep better when the room is moving

What did the teenage boy who was jerking off in his room say when his mother called?

One second mom, I'm coming!

What do skinny jeans and cheap hotels have in common?

No room

What room is missing from almost every house?

a Mushroom

How many cops do you need to change a light bulb?

None. They just shoot the room for being black. Credit: donator on some stream said the joke and just wanted to share it.

Why did Sweden change their immigration politics?

Because their Zoos ran out of room.

The Ultimate Dad Joke Book: 501 Hilarious Puns, Funny One Liners and Clean Cheesy Dad Jokes for Kids (Gifts for Dad)
4.7

Paperback

Available on Amazon

What do you do if you enter a room and a clown is having a stroke?

Close the door and go to .

How does a Mexican wrestler enter a room?

Through the Lucha-door.

What do you get when you have Tiger Woods, Stephen Hawking, and Dwayne Johnson in the same room?

An Animal, a Vegetable, and a Mineral.

How many US cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they arrest the room because it's black.

How many moths does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but more can join in if there's room in the lightbulb.

How many students does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the light bulb and one to drink until the room spins.

What's a room full of saurkraut?

Over-krauted.

What do you hear when Bill Cosby walks into the room?

Zzzzip)

How many Ferguson police does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they'll just shoot the room for being black.

How do you make an epileptic dance?

Throw a flashbang into the room.

Jokes for Kids: The Best Jokes, Riddles, Tongue Twisters, Knock-Knock jokes, and One liners for kids: Kids Joke books ages 7-9 8-12
4.7

Paperback

Available on Amazon

What do you use to check your cell from across the room?

A telephono lens.

How do you know who in the room is a vegetarian?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

What sits in the corner of the room, crying and getting smaller and smaller?

A baby combing it's hair with a vegetable peeler.

How many Missouri Police officers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just shoot the room for being black.

What kind of room has no walls?

A mushroom!

What do you call a Serbian who won't clean his room?

Novak.

How can a room full of couples be empty?

There isn't a single person left! Bwahahahahaha

What is your funniest joke about the French?

Mine is this: How do you pick out the Frenchmen in a room full of naked soldiers? They're the ones with sunburned armpits.

How many heroin addicts does it take to change a lightbulb?

Four. One to hold the lightbulb and three to smoke until the room starts spinning!

How many Irish does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold it in the socket and the other to drink until the room starts spinning!

What do you have in a room full of tweakers?

A full set of teeth.

Who is missing an egg?

there are 27 people in the room but on 53 eggs, you know what that means, someone is missing an egg.

What did the philanderer say to the gardener praying in the shed?

How do you stay faithful in a room full of hoes?

What do you call a room full of men watching the Super Bowl on a big screen TV?

The Patriots

What do Michael Jackson and Santa have in common?

They both leave little boys rooms with lighter sacks.

What do you get when you move 32 Texans into the same room?

A full set of teeth

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

They both leave little boys rooms with empty sacks.

How many irish men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, One to hold the light and, one to drink until the room starts spinning!

What's the proper procedure when witnessing someone having a seizure in a bathtub?

Sprint to your room, grab all the dirty clothes you can, and start saving money on laundry.

What did the inn keeper say to the Big Dipper when he asked if he could rent a room?

sorry this is only a four star hotel.

Why does a VC always enter a room backwards?

To keep an eye on the exit

How many American cops does it take to change a broken lightbulb?

Two. One to arrest the room for being black, and the other to arrest the bulb for being broke.

How many ninjas are in this room?

As many as want to be!

Why didn't the astronauts stay on the moon?

Because it was a full moon and there was no room.

How many drunks does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. He holds the bulb and the room spins.

What do you call 16 white girls in a room?

One whole Cherokee

How do you know when Santa's in the room?

You can sense his presents.

What room does a ghost not need?

A living room

What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?

A dog who can lick himself from across the room

What's worse than finding a sack of spider eggs in your room?

Finding a sack of hatched spider eggs in your room

Why is a room full of married people empty?

A: There isn't a single person in it.

Why couldn't the astronaut book a room on the moon?

Because it was full.

What do you get when you put 32 Rednecks in one room?

One full set of teeth.

How can you tell if there is a pilot in the room?

He will tell you.

Which room will you be working out in?

Me: None of them, I just need to take a shower.

Where do you go in the room when you're cold?

The corner, it's 90 degrees.

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds?

A baby with a punctured lung

How many Russians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and other to drink until the room spins.

Why does Poesche keep their engines in the back?

To leave more room for Paul Walker in the Front..

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story, and a Catholic priest?

One goes limp when a child walks in the room.

What do you call a room with no walls?

A mushroom. Some people don't think that this is a joke. But it makes me rofl all over the place.

What do you give an elephant with big feet ?

Plenty of room !

How many stoners does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, the room is already lit.

How many dwarves does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two one to hold the bulb and the other to serve him beer until the room starts spinning.

What do you get when you put 28 Alabama Sorority girls in one room?

A full set of teeth

Why is a room of 50 doctors safer than a room with 1000 doctors?

You can't survive in 1000 degrees. *credit to my friend Neriah.

Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room?

A: So she could use it as a mirror.

What do you call a credit union volunteer in a room full of bank directors?

A: A superior being.

How many Meth-Heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to hold the lightbulb and Two to smoke till the room spins!

Why weren't the eggplants allowed into the mushroom party?

Because there wasn't much room and they aren't fun guys.

How do you pump up a room full of shy introverts?

LETS GET READY TO MUMBLE!!!"

What do you call a room full of psychics?

A scam!

What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?

If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining.

How hard do you think Joe Biden laughs when a senate's bill gets 69 votes?

I bet he has to leave the room.

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a priest?

Only one of them goes limp when a child walks into a room.

Why is it warmer near the corners of a room?

Cause they're at 90 degrees.

Why do I have to share a room with my twin sister?

ME: Because we only anticipated having one of you.

How many dwarves does it take to paint a room red?

It depends how hard you throw then against the wall.

How do you tell if there's a Pilot in the room?

They've already told you.

What's the hottest part of a room?

The corner, it's 90 degrees.

What has dual airbags and has lots of room?

A: The White House.

What was it like?

Me: What was what like 10: Being alive in the 1900's Me: Go to your room.

What do you get when you put the entire South Carolina cheerleading team in one room?

A full set of teeth.

What did Santa say when he saw your mom, sister, and girlfriend all together in the same room?

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Who the hell does that in a sock?

squishes out of the room*

How many times I have to tell you to stop making such a mess?

Go to your room.."

Why did the hotel manager refuse to rent his rooms out to people?

He needed places to hide the bodies.

How's my baby girl?

Me: I'm moving back in. Mom: Your room is ready. Me: No, your uterus! Mom: Steph you drink too much

You might also enjoy:

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did Princess Di cross the road?

Interia

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?

A collie-flower !

Arrive Jokes More Arrive Jokes

What does CHAOS stand for?

A. The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene.

What does the atheist say when he arrives at the Pearly Gates?

I'll be goddamned.

1000 Jokes More 1000 Jokes

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

What do you call 1000 heavily armed lesbians?

A. Militia Etheridge

Mushroom Jokes More Mushroom Jokes

Why don't people hang out with the mushroom?

He isn't a fungi.

What is a vampire's favourite soup ?

Scream of mushroom !

American Jokes More American Jokes

How do you call an American that hasn't gone to the toilet in 7 days?

An American full of himself.

What do you call a person who knows 3 languages?

Trilingual. What do you call a person who knows 2 languages Bilingual. What do you call a person who knows only one language American.

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

Why do Trekkies never grow out of Star Trek?

They always somehow just Klingon to it.

What happened to the little frog who sat on the telephone?

He grew up to be a bellhop!

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

How much space is left in EU?

1 GB

What's the difference between yogurt and white people?

If left out for 4,000 years, yogurt will develop culture.

Enter Jokes More Enter Jokes

How does a vampire enter his house?

Through the bat flap.

What's the difference between a house cleaner and a thief?

The way they enter your house.